Muted Beauty

Tameness and monotony have seized humans like they never have. The society is a mass of unthinking brutes that blumber around in a way that can be modelled by simple random walks.  We don’t even seem to realize all the space the third dimension offers. We merely bump around in a two-dimensional world through simple predictable formulae. What has become of us?

Where are all the nuances and intonations that come with what constitutes a life? People have gotten so scared of heartbreak, tiredness, sorrow and other emotions normally related to pain that they have forgotten and are impervious to any emotions, even the ones relating to joy and growth and life.

A beautiful life is one where there is everything: sorrow, sadness, hunger, joy, success, failure and euphoria. Without these alternating periods of pain and pleasure; disgust and wonder; ugliness and beauty, life has no meaning. Why exist to merely survive? Why exist if you do not want to live?

A fall constitutes a rise, a shattering failure results in a stupendous success, and that’s life. When you fall, as you undoubtedly will, just remember that the fruit of the future will taste more wonderful, more golden, more juicy because of the hole you are in today. The sun will shine brighter, and the laughter of nature will be music just because of the “tests” you have gone through.

So live. Live to your fullest and go and explore everything. Do not be afraid to let go and experience things. Go through the terrifying realms of human connections and experience heartbreak; through the lands and stories of war and torture and experience raw terror and sorrow; through the beautiful lands of paradise and experience joy. Just remember that life is a blank canvas. To make it the masterpiece it should be, imbue it with terrifying yet soothing paints, dangerous yet euphoric adventures, bitter yet sweet memories, painful yet mutedly wonderful story arcs.

Thoughts

You don’t realize what a stunning miracle you are. Painstakingly you have come to this place. Have you ever sat down and thought of what you actually are? You are a passing phase of the existence of something so improbable that it is impossible. You are merely a stepping stone for something impossible, you know how that sounds? Billions of years full of pain and suffering, sorrow and torture, tenacity and survival, joy and happiness lead to this moment. The words I am writing and you are reading are the result of so many small and improbable incidents. If 5000 years ago, a messenger from a kingdom to another had gotten sick and failed to deliver a message, these words wouldn’t have been written today. Hell, if something as simple as a butterfly fluttering its wings had a degree of change I or you may not have existed today. You, my friend, are simply, a resplendent wonder.

Not only you. Everyone and everything in this world deserves to exist. They all have bet incredible odds to be here today. Every blade of grass, every bloom of even the most pungent flower, every ugly crow, every irritating cricket deserves to live. None of them are too lowly or too humble. The delicate beauty of the marigold and the brushy charm of the cycad, both are there, millions of hardships under them, yet blooming and smiling all along. The universe has existed from its conception till now for you to have this moment. This honour of having existed at the same as the majestic tigers, regal eagles, righteous rhinos and wise elephants; living alongside pretty roses, happy lilies, festive hyacinths and friendly daffodils is one of the rarest honours. It is so rare that no one other than you and the people you live with on the earth can and have witnessed it. 

And thereby is a question, why don’t you savour and consume every waking moment? Why are you so withdrawn and why don’t you give yourself up to the world? Why do you bottle up your emotions, make your body weak and shriveled? Why do you treat with contempt nature’s many creations? You have become no more than a big hunk of protoplasm shuffling around trying to destroy the perfect world you live in. I am of your kind, and understand your tendencies. I understand your lethargy, your gluttony, your greed, your wrath, your envy, your lust and your pride. What I cannot understand is why you don’t transcend them. Why do you let yourself be limited by the constraints they possess? You call yourself the most superior species in the planet. Shown your tendencies of easily falling into emotions controlled by your hormones instead of pure natural emotions, I would beg to differ. You do not deserve to be the most superior if you cannot channel your emotions into appreciation and peace instead of aggression and conflict.

Looking at the vast pulchritude of the cosmos, I feel small, insignificant, yet there is another feeling too. That feeling of being extremely spent. I feel the adrenaline coursing through my body as I look at the faraway stars. I feel my limbs going limp, yet strong. I feel my resolve crumbling, “We can never hope of knowing the great things out there.” Existential crisis threatens to seize me, but it doesn’t. For the curiosity inside me isn’t afraid of time and space. It will always remain timeless. And I will do all that it takes to find out all I can of this wondrous cosmic ocean we live in. Contentment fills me as I realize we are part of this huge totality. I thank the universe for lending some of its infinite wonders and beauty in this small rock we call earth. I thank the universe for the small ticklish blades of grass beneath me, for the stars twinkling in the distance, for the mysterious blank enigmatic face of the moon illuminating us.